Last week, my child brought home a note from school. It was a notice about collecting contributions for a class gift for the homeroom teacher, specifying how much each family should contribute. When I first sent my child to an American school, this felt quite unfamiliar. In Korea, after the Kim Young-ran law was enacted a few years ago, it has become a cautious matter for parents to give anything to teachers, but here, gift lists circulate naturally every semester.

At the end of the year, we send Christmas cards with gift cards tucked inside, and in June, when the school year ends, the whole class prepares another round of thank-you notes. I still vividly remember my child excitedly pulling out colored pencils to draw pictures for the card.

Out of curiosity, I found that there is actually a Teacher Appreciation Week in the U.S. The first week of May has long been established as National Teacher Appreciation Week, during which parent associations at schools coordinate gifts. Individual gifts average around $25 per family, while when the whole class pools money for a gift card, it averages about $50 to $100 per parent. Interestingly, surveys show that when asked, most teachers say that a gift in the range of $10 to $20 is just right.

What's interesting is that the gifts teachers appreciate the most are not expensive items but handwritten letters. More than half of the responses indicated that they preferred handwritten cards or letters, with cash or gift cards coming next. Ultimately, it's the thought that counts, and that's the key takeaway.

However, in this area, specifically in the Fairfax County Public Schools regulations, there is an interesting point. It explicitly states that students and parents should refrain from habitually giving gifts on holidays or special occasions. There are clauses that prohibit staff from accepting expensive or excessive gifts, and employees who are subject to economic interest reporting cannot receive gifts totaling more than $100 per year. The neighboring Arlington Public Schools also has a $100 limit per family. This indicates that the U.S. is also cautious about this culture turning into bribery. The fact that school districts have established such regulations shows that there is already a consensus in this area that even well-intentioned gifts can cross a line.

Reflecting on this, I realized that the underlying meaning of this gift culture overlaps in two ways. One is a pure expression of gratitude. Everyone knows that public school teachers in the U.S. do not earn a lot, and it's not uncommon for teachers to buy classroom supplies out of their own pockets. Therefore, it's natural for parents to want to express their appreciation to someone who has taken care of their child for a year. The other is the sense of community participation. The process of pooling money from the whole class serves as a way for the parents in that class to connect with each other.

Personally, however, I don't view this culture as entirely positive. Families that are not financially well-off may feel pressured to participate, and it's disappointing that the hard work of teachers is compensated with gifts while discussions about improving their working conditions are sidelined. Gifts should be given and received warmly, but fundamental issues like teacher treatment and classroom budgets should be addressed through taxes and policies. While I respect the way people express their feelings, that sentiment should lead to institutional improvements for it to be true gratitude.

Still, if I open my heart a little wider, I see that this small gift envelope contains a sense of community in raising children together. Rather than focusing on the monetary value, I choose to feel the warmth behind it, and this note that comes around every year no longer feels so strange. I'm already curious about what I will write on the card when the next note arrives.