Not long ago, I attended a small business networking night in my neighborhood, standing by the window with a glass of wine in hand.

While everyone was skillfully exchanging business cards and chatting with smiles, I found myself staring at my phone, unsure of where to fit in.

Later, I made eye contact with someone standing next to me, and after exchanging a few words, I learned that they were also enduring the same awkwardness as I was.

If you've built a career in the U.S., you may have realized that networking plays a much larger role in the job market than you might expect.

Research shows that about 70 to 80 percent of hiring happens not through public job postings but through someone's introduction or recommendation.

This means that no matter how carefully you craft your resume, if you don't know anyone at the company, it often gets quietly buried somewhere in the application pile.

However, I don't think it's necessary to change your personality and force yourself to mimic an extroverted person.

Initially, I avoided large conferences and crowded mixer events, instead seeking out small gatherings or one-day classes with around ten attendees.

Events like local gallery openings or small cooking classes hosted by local chefs, as well as wine tastings, provide conversation starters right in front of you, making it much easier to engage in conversation.

In settings where there are common interests, there's no need to force small talk, which can actually be more advantageous for introverts.

A common feature of American networking culture is the coffee chat, a brief one-on-one conversation often referred to as an informational interview.

This involves spending about thirty minutes over coffee with a stranger, asking a few prepared questions about their work and career, and I found this approach much more comfortable than a noisy party.

By preparing a list of questions in advance, you don't have to worry about awkward silences, and the other person often appreciates the effort, leaving a positive impression.

When requesting such meetings, it's much more natural to approach it as wanting to learn from their experiences rather than asking for a job right away.

In American workplace culture, such requests are often not seen as rude but rather as proactive.

The same goes for online interactions. Unlike LinkedIn messages, which require immediate responses, you can take your time to craft your thoughts and send a well-considered message.

Instead of asking for a meeting or favor right away, starting with a short, sincere comment on the other person's post or project feels much less burdensome.

Sending a brief thank-you message within two days to someone you've spoken with can also make a surprisingly big difference.

It doesn't have to be an elaborate follow-up email; even a couple of lines can leave the impression that the person is remembered, often leading to future meetings.

Local chamber of commerce events or industry association gatherings are also worth noting. They tend to be small and have a clear purpose, making it easier for newcomers to blend in naturally.

In such settings, having deep conversations with one or two people rather than handing out several business cards often proves to be more beneficial in the long run.

By sending short messages to check in every few months, you can maintain relationships that, over time, become surprisingly valuable assets.

Ultimately, building connections isn't about the sheer number of people you meet but rather how genuinely you connect with a few.

Instead of striving to be perfectly sociable, isn't it better to build a few real relationships at your own pace that will last longer?