Living in America, there's a phrase you hear more often than in Korea.

"My best friend."

You hear it at work, in the neighborhood, and at social gatherings.

Interestingly, the person saying this isn't always in their 20s. A man in his 40s might introduce a man in his 50s by saying, "This is my best friend."

I found this quite fascinating while living in the U.S.

In Korea, terms like best friend or close friend feel more tied to school days.

Especially for men, once they hit their 40s, they don't usually introduce friends as "my best friend."

They might say, "He's a close buddy," "An old friend," or "Someone I worked with."

Honestly, after 50, where are the best friends? It's every man for himself, haha.

Raising kids, paying the mortgage, working, running a business, and taking care of parents makes seeing friends a challenge.

It's even more pronounced in LA. Even if you live in LA, if you want to meet someone from the Valley in Orange County, you have to schedule it first.

These days, with the cost of living so high, it's been a long time since people casually went out for drinks or karaoke like in the past.

However, it seems that Americans aren't shy about using the term best friend as they age.

In fact, a 2021 survey of American adults found that 59% reported having a best friend.

Interestingly, in 1990, that figure was 75%. It seems Americans have fewer friends than before.

The average number of close friends dropped from 2.94 in 1990 to 2.23 in 2021.

Additionally, the percentage of people who reported having no friends increased from 3% to 12%.

This trend is particularly pronounced among men. The percentage of men reporting no friends rose from 3% in 1990 to 15% in 2021.

This suggests that American men, as they age, are experiencing a similar trend of self-reliance as in Korea.

However, there is one key difference.

In America, the expression best friend is used much more casually than in Korea.

Moreover, it doesn't have to refer to just one person. Those who reported having a best friend typically have about two.

From a Korean perspective, how can you have two best friends? If there are two number ones, are they both co-number ones? In America, it seems there's no need to rank friendships.

As long as someone is a trusted and comfortable companion, they can be referred to as "one of my best friends."

The culture of using BFF from a young age likely influences this. Kids wear BFF bracelets, write it on cards, and stick it on photos.

So, when those kids grow up to be in their 40s and 50s, there's no reason to suddenly think, "What do you mean best friend at this age?"

The workplace is similar.

Gallup's employee engagement survey even includes a question about whether you have a best friend at work.

At first glance, it seems odd to ask about friends in a company survey, but ultimately, it's a question about the strength of relationships and trust in the workplace.

When you think about it, having someone to share a light joke with on a Monday morning, aside from work discussions, makes a significant difference.

Sometimes, people endure a tough job because they like the people they work with.

Having spent a long time in the Korean community in LA, I occasionally notice differences between Koreans and Americans.

Koreans take time to become close. However, once they do, those friendships last a long time.

Americans, on the other hand, tend to express themselves more quickly. They might casually say, "He's my best friend" about someone they've known for years.

Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean that person is someone they can't live without.

In the past, I would think to myself when I heard such expressions.

"Were we that close?"

But now, I just see it as an American way of expressing friendship. There's no need to rank friendships as first, second, or third.

If I like and trust someone, I can call them my best friend.

Still, personally, I believe that turning 50 brings a different reality.

In your 20s, you have friends who will go out if you call them at 11 PM and say, "Come out."

In your 30s, you have friends to meet on weekends.

By your 40s, you need to schedule a month in advance, and by your 50s, you might say, "Let's grab a meal sometime," and it turns into the next year.

It's not that you dislike your friends; it's just that everyone has so much more to carry in life.

So, as we age, it might be natural for the number of friends to decrease.

Still, sometimes saying, "This is my best friend" like Americans do doesn't seem like a bad idea.

It makes the listener feel good, and it doesn't cost anything to say.

After all, once you turn 50, everyone is pretty much on their own.

In the midst of that, if there's someone who occasionally calls to grab a meal, that person might just be your best friend, haha.