It's Only After Forty That We Admit We Don't Know Why We Do This

Having lived over forty years, I now acknowledge what needs to be acknowledged.

There's a phrase that husbands often say to their wives.

"Why are you acting like this?"

But let me share an important fact with you.

We don't know either.

If we did, we would have fixed it long ago. My husband has been studying me for over ten years and still hasn't found the answer, so how would he know?

The most interesting part is during arguments.

In my head, there's definitely a warning signal going off.

'Don't say that right now.'
'That's too much.'
'It's not that person's fault.'

I know it all.

But my mouth has already taken off.

My brain is showing a red light, but my mouth runs a red light and crosses the intersection.

Then when my husband's expression hardens, I should stop, right?

But strangely, I keep going.

Because if I stop here, I become the one at fault.

Having already crossed the 38th parallel, I can't just withdraw suddenly.

So what started over a single sock ends up with my mother-in-law making an appearance ten minutes later, and fifteen minutes later, the chaotic anniversary incident from the 2020 pandemic is brought up.

My husband is bewildered.

"Why is this all happening over one sock?"

That's right.

It's not really about the sock.

I had a tough day, and no one asked me, "Were you okay today?" so I felt hurt.

But I could just say that.

"Honey, I had a tough day. Can you give me a hug?"

How sweet would that be?

But that just doesn't come out.

Instead, I pick up the sock on the floor and say,

"You've been like this your whole life!"

Suddenly, I evaluate a person's fifty-year life based on a single sock.

There's an even more embarrassing story.

When my husband looks at me in confusion, I sometimes feel oddly reassured inside.

'At least he cares.'

From his perspective, it's like being hit by lightning, but I'm confirming my love through that expression.

It's a very inefficient way to confirm love.

The problem comes at night.

During the argument, I completely won.

I spoke more, and I had the last word.

But when I turn off the lights and lie down, suddenly the highlights of today's match are replayed.

The words I said, my husband's expression, even the way he quietly closed the door at the end come back in HD quality.

Then regret washes over me.

'Oh, I shouldn't have said that.'

I look over, and my husband is snoring.

It makes me even angrier.

How can he sleep so well when he says he's hurt?

I can't sleep because I'm still affected by the words I threw out.

And the really strange thing is that I remember old words too.

My husband doesn't even remember the fight from ten years ago, but I still remember that I said something too harsh that day.

In the end, I'm the longest-standing victim of the words I threw out.

So I want to make a request to husbands.

When a woman suddenly starts picking a fight over something strange, don't try to win logically.

"I picked up the sock yesterday too?"

Don't present evidence like that.

This isn't a trial.

Just ask once.

"Did something happen?"

Just saying that will diffuse all the anger.