A while ago, a friend received a call from their parents. The content was about reorganizing their will, but that family had never really discussed money before.

When asked why now, they said there wasn't a specific reason. It was just that one day they felt moved to do so. After receiving that call, my friend realized they knew almost nothing about their parents' finances.

Curious after hearing this, I looked up some related information. There seems to be more research than expected on when and why money discussions start between parents and children in the U.S.

Interestingly, this silence isn't just a one-generation issue. According to a Fidelity survey, 56 percent of respondents said they had never discussed money with their parents. It's a habit that gets passed down.

A BMO Wealth Institute survey found that only 19 percent of adult children had had specific conversations about their parents' inheritance plans.

Almost 90 percent of respondents agreed that inheritance planning is an important topic, yet it still happens. It seems ironic that they know but postpone the conversation.

A similar gap was found in an RBC Wealth Management survey targeting high-net-worth baby boomers. While 89 percent said it was important to discuss inheritance with their children, only 39 percent reported actually having those conversations.

In a family and finance study by Fidelity released in 2025, 68 percent of parents over 55 with investment assets of over $500,000 had not mentioned how much they would leave to their children or whether there would be an inheritance at all. The numbers were surprisingly high.

When looking into why people avoid these discussions, the reasons are surprisingly simple. Topics like money, death, and caregiving often come up together, making everyone want to avoid them.

It was also interesting to note that these conversations rarely come up during holiday dinners or family gatherings. Instead, they tend to happen during quiet afternoons over a cup of coffee.

Moreover, the triggers for these discussions are often not set dates but rather events that happen around them. News of a friend's parents being scammed or an article about retirement funds running out can open the door to these conversations.

So, at what point do parents actually bring this up? An elder law attorney suggested that around age 75 is a good time to start these discussions.

Of course, this is just a guideline, and in reality, conversations often happen naturally when health issues arise, a spouse passes away, or retirement life settles in.

Interestingly, even without conversations, money is already changing hands. An AARP survey from 2025 found that 75 percent of parents over 45 had provided financial assistance to their adult children.

However, 35 percent of them reported feeling emotionally stressed during that process. This means they are giving money but not actually discussing it, which seems contradictory.

In financial work, I often notice these situations. Just one piece of paper or one conversation can make things much less complicated later on.

What's truly important is not the amount of inheritance but the division of roles. Who will make decisions when someone is ill? Where are the power of attorney and account information? These are actually much more urgent issues.

In my opinion, there's no need to wait until 75. Before discussing wills or inheritance amounts, I would recommend lightly asking who will make decisions when someone is sick and where the accounts and documents are. That one question could save many nights of worry later on.