Last month, at a Korean gathering, a junior colleague mentioned that they were worried about bringing up parental leave at work and possibly getting fired.

Someone sitting next to them immediately responded, "In the U.S., if you take that, your career is over."

Everyone nodded in agreement, but I was a bit puzzled. I wanted to find out how true that was, so I did some research.

To cut to the chase, half of that statement is incorrect, and the other half is sadly accurate.

First, the law. The federal FMLA guarantees up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for childbirth or childcare.

Before being disappointed by the word "unpaid," you need to look at the details. During the leave, the company must maintain group health insurance, and your position is legally protected when you return.

There are three eligibility criteria. You must have worked for the same employer for at least 12 months.

You must have worked at least 1,250 hours in the 12 months leading up to the start of your leave. Hours taken off as paid or unpaid leave do not count.

Finally, the employer must have at least 50 employees within a 75-mile radius.

Surprisingly, not many people meet all three criteria. According to a 2018 survey by the Department of Labor, only 56% of workers qualified for FMLA.

This means that nearly half of the remaining workers do not have the 12 weeks of leave that the law provides. I was a bit shocked when I saw that number.

Paid leave is a completely different story. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics' March 2023 report, only 27% of private sector workers had access to paid family leave.

When including unpaid family leave, that number rises to 89%. This indicates that while the right to take leave is broad, the avenues for receiving pay are limited.

In the same survey, 39% of management and professional positions had access to paid family leave, while only 16% of service workers did.

There are also disparities by industry. The information sector had the highest rate at 55%, while leisure and hospitality had the lowest at 8%.

You can't just lump all American companies together. Where you work is essentially everything.

Return-to-work regulations are surprisingly strict. The FMLA mandates that employees returning from leave must be reinstated to their original position or one that is essentially the same.

Here, "the same" does not just refer to salary and benefits. It includes work shifts and locations as well.

Retaliation is also prohibited. Penalizing someone for taking parental leave or docking attendance points is considered a violation.

If you believe your rights have been violated, you can file a complaint with the Department of Labor's Wage and Hour Division or pursue a lawsuit.

However, there is one exception. This is known as the key employee rule.

This applies to salaried employees who are in the top 10% of pay at their workplace within a 75-mile radius. If the company can prove that reinstating them would cause serious and substantial harm to operations, they can deny reinstatement.

However, they cannot prevent the leave itself. They must notify the employee in writing at the start of the leave if this possibility exists, and the burden of proof is high, making it difficult to be recognized.

So why does the saying that taking leave ends your career persist? The issue lies not in the law but in people's perceptions.

In a study by Rudman and Mescher published in the 2013 Journal of Social Issues, men who applied for family leave were evaluated as less committed to the organization.

They were perceived as weak and indecisive, which increased their risk of demotion or layoffs. What holds them back is not the regulations but their reputation.

This is also reflected in actual behavior. An analysis of current population survey data found that fathers in states without paid family leave took an average of 1.6 weeks off.

In states with such laws, that number was 3.3 weeks. Isn't this evidence that the system influences personal courage?

That system still falls short of half. Currently, only 12 states and Washington D.C. provide paid leave, with Maryland starting in January 2028 and Virginia in December 2028.

The state I live in is not on that list. Here, company policy is essentially the system.

So if I were in that situation, here's what I would do. The moment the news is confirmed, I would look up the parental leave section and the short-term disability clause in the HR handbook.

Combining the two can significantly reduce the unpaid period in many companies.

Next is documentation. I would ensure that all leave requests and company responses are documented via email, not just verbally.

Preparing a handover document for the team is also crucial. It's better to hear that things ran smoothly because of that document than to hear that they managed without me.

After returning, I would keep track of my performance in the first quarter. I need to have evidence ready when vague comments arise during evaluation periods.

From my experience, if a career can collapse from taking 12 weeks off, it would eventually collapse even if you endure for another 12 weeks.

However, knowing your rights and being unable to exercise them are two entirely different matters. It's important to check if you qualify and, if not, to thoroughly investigate company policies.