It seems like a strange phase comes along after about five years of marriage.

When you're dating, there are things you don't notice because of the love haze, but suddenly they start to become clear.

The feelings from the early days of marriage seem to have disappeared, and I find myself sitting there thinking, "Is my life just going to roll on like this?"

I'm thirty-nine this year, and I feel like I'm right in that phase.

When I meet friends, they all seem to feel the same way. We talk and laugh, but our eyes all tell the same story.

I can't not talk about my husband.

He used to react immediately when our hands brushed together, but these days, when I come out of the shower, he suddenly drinks so much water.

Why is he so thirsty at that moment?

After I shower, he often opens a can of beer and says how tired he is.

I understand how tough work is and how exhausting it is to take care of the kids.

But understanding it in my head and feeling okay about it are two different things. I can't help but wonder if I'm not seen as a woman anymore.

Honestly, looking in the mirror isn't the same as it used to be.

Seeing my body and skin change after having kids makes me frustrated even when I look at myself.

The elasticity is long gone, and no amount of good cream is going to change that dramatically.

In the past, sitting in front of the vanity made me feel good, but these days, I see wrinkles while putting on makeup, and I can't help but sigh.

Sometimes I wonder if it's too much to expect my husband to see me the way he used to, but then I feel resentful thinking about how I ended up like this.

The funniest part is that I don't even have the energy to argue.

There's a saying that a household that doesn't fight is more dangerous than one that does. That saying is spot on. We have minimal conversation, but life goes on remarkably well.

Feeding the kids, bathing them, putting them to bed, and preparing their things for the next day. The routine is so perfect that there's no room for emotions to creep in.

Still, it's a bit better when I meet friends and chat.

"Hey, it's not just us. Everyone lives like this. The fifth year is just like that."

Sometimes that's comforting, and other times it sounds too scary. It feels like a message to just endure.

So these days, I'm quietly rebelling.

After sending the kids to kindergarten, I go to a café and look at old photos.

The me from when I was dating, the us laughing on our honeymoon. I look so different now, but I can still see myself in there.

The five-year marriage slump feels less like a signal that love has ended and more like a notification that life has become too real.

It's like responsibility has taken the place of excitement. I'm not sure if getting through this will make us stronger or just numb us.

But one thing is for sure. We're all living day by day, grumbling about it. Isn't that enough for now?