Raising a 10-year-old son in Seattle as a working couple makes each day quite hectic.

After work, when I try to help him, I see a flood of school homework and online assignments, and I think, 'Kids these days have it tough.'

But then, as I watch him, my voice inevitably gets louder.

"Focus a bit!" I say. Then suddenly, when I look at my child's face, his lips are pouting, and his gaze is already elsewhere.

Every time that happens, I wonder, 'Am I really helping this child?'

In fact, it seems that study stress builds up more in parents than in children.

Listening to other moms talk about tutoring lists, math Olympiads, and coding camps brings a wave of anxiety.

What if my child falls behind? I end up nagging him again, which turns into pressure for him.

This creates a cycle of stress.

But one day, while doing homework, my child threw his pencil and asked, "Mom, why are you always mad at me?"

Looking back, I realized I was unable to control my own anxiety rather than focusing on my child's study habits. Since that day, I decided to make small changes.

Instead of watching him closely during homework time, I waited in the kitchen while boiling water for tea.

Even when he got a problem wrong, I didn't point it out immediately; I waited until he said, "Mom, this is weird."

Interestingly, he started solving problems on his own.

Seeing him smile when he figured it out made me think, 'Yes, this is the real start of learning.'

These days, we talk every evening about school, friends, and his favorite YouTubers.

Thanks to that time, it feels like my child has come back to me, and his grades have started to improve.

Learning is not about knowledge but a process of building 'confidence,' and the first thing that undermines that confidence is parental anxiety.

Nowadays, I try to focus on my child's expressions rather than his grades.

If there are many smiling days, it means he is doing well, and if he looks sad, it's time to take a break together.

I now realize that being a warm mom, rather than a perfect one, is the first step to reducing my child's study stress.

Rather than hoping my child will change, if I change first, he will quickly feel that change and follow suit.

Ultimately, my child's learning starts from my heart.