I came to the United States in high school and have now lived here for over 17 years. My English is at a native level, and I have quite a few friends.

Since I graduated from college in the eastern region, I thought I had overcome most cultural differences.

However, strangely, I still find project meetings in American companies unfamiliar.

Especially now that I am working at a research firm and have taken on a project for a government agency in New York, the atmosphere of the meetings feels even more unfamiliar.

The first surprising thing is that the conversations in the meetings are not 100% honest.

Everyone is smiling, but I can sense that they are thinking differently inside. Is this what American 'Professional' means?

They don't directly say, "That idea is not great."

Instead, they use phrases like the ones below to express that your idea is not good, haha.

  • That's an interesting perspective.
    In reality, it means "another opinion," subtly masking a negative nuance.

  • Let's circle back to that later.
    Used when it's difficult to adopt immediately or when trying to ignore it.

  • I see where you're coming from.
    It implies that I don't agree with the logic but understand the point.

  • That's one way to look at it.
    A polite variation of "but I don't see it that way."

  • I'm not sure that's the direction we're going.
    That seems a bit different from the direction we are heading.

  • That's something we can think about.
    Not right now.

  • Interesting, though it might not fit our current scope.
    It's interesting, but it's not feasible to proceed with it right now.

    • With this kind of atmosphere, it's necessary to have the skill to express one's opinion without hurting the other person's pride during meetings.

    The second challenge is that I need to accurately read my boss's intentions.

    This might just be a personal issue of mine, but if I can't quickly grasp the direction my boss wants during the meeting, I end up being the one talking about irrelevant things.

    Especially in this government agency project, the political interests and reporting lines are complex, so often what my boss says on the surface is different from what they truly want.

    I realize that being a 'yes-man' is about this. It's not just about agreeing blindly; it's about agreeing in the right way at the right time. That requires both intuition and strategy.

    Also, the small talk during meetings is not easy.

    While Americans lighten the mood with discussions about politics, sports, or local events, I still feel tense when I try to join in. I worry about saying something wrong and affecting my image.

    On the other hand, if I'm too quiet, I seem invisible, and if I'm too proactive, I stand out. Maintaining this 'moderate line' is more exhausting than I expected.

    However, the good news is that English itself is no longer a significant barrier.

    What I struggle with is not the words but reading the hidden meanings and atmosphere behind those words.

    This seems to be an area that one can only learn by deeply engaging in workplace culture, no matter how long one has lived here.

    So nowadays, I read the materials two or three times before meetings and keep track of the expressions and response patterns my boss frequently uses.

    I also pay close attention to the expressions they make in response to the ideas I throw out.

    Ultimately, I am gradually learning that meetings are both a 'speaking space' and an 'observational space.'

    While it's nice to be recognized for doing well, what's more important is contributing in line with the direction the team wants.

    Perhaps this is the true skill of working in an American company.

    Although the insincere expressions still feel awkward and there are moments when I have to be cautious, I feel that I am gradually adapting within that context.

    Since English is no longer a problem, I now need to learn how to appear as if I am 'doing well' while smiling in the midst of this complex culture.