In fact, when I first came to the U.S., I heard someone say that and thought, "Is that about me?"

On one hand, it felt like a compliment, but on the other hand, it seemed like a careless generalization.

So, I want to break down the nuances of that statement and discuss what social and cultural backgrounds might actually exist.

The first thing that hits you when you immigrate is 'language.' The language barrier. So, you want to hang out with people who are familiar with English and practice in real situations.

Since white communities are often mainstream, naturally, there are points of contact with them.

School, work, grocery stores, hospitals... everything is in English. To survive and not feel lonely, you reach out first.

When I came to the U.S., I was fascinated by the eating habits, dating culture, and weekend routines of my white friends.

Conversely, they would ask me questions like, "Kimchi? Can you eat that?" showing their curiosity about me.

As cultures differ, the topics of conversation are rich, and curiosity about each other can develop into familiarity.

Of course, that curiosity should always be 'healthy.'

I made my first white friend in college through a club. We worked on projects together and chatted over coffee, and before I knew it, we were close.

Especially nowadays, with social media, Meetup, and shared interests, it has become really easy to make friends regardless of race.

Sports, cooking, reading... any hobby can become a connection point.

The area where I live is very multicultural.

In such an atmosphere, rather than saying 'who gets along with whom more easily,' it creates an environment where everyone can mingle comfortably.

Especially in language exchange meetings, people from very diverse backgrounds gather. Some want to learn English, while others are interested in Korean or Japanese.

Language itself creates a 'reason to get closer.' As you meet and talk often, you start to feel a deeper understanding of the person beyond the language.

Of course, there are some uncomfortable moments.

When someone approaches me with the mindset of, "I should help this immigrant." If it's genuine kindness, that's great, but sometimes it can feel condescending or like viewing me as an exotic subject.

There are still prejudices like, "She's Asian, so she must be docile and obedient." Such relationships don't last long. Ultimately, authenticity is important.

Some people are extroverted and quickly make friends in unfamiliar environments, while others prefer to quietly go about their own business.

Where you live, what job you have, and your level of English proficiency... all of these factors play a role.

This is not something that can be explained by just one criterion of 'Asian women.'

What I've felt living as an immigrant is this.

The relationships that are visible on the surface are just a small part of that person's 'journey.'

If you are getting along well with a white friend, recognizing that there has been a lot of 'effort' and 'choice' behind it is the first step to respecting each other, isn't it?

Even if someone seems to make friends easily, there may be courage to break through language barriers, struggles to accept cultural differences, and stories created while enduring loneliness.

So now, when I look at people, I think like this: "What process did this person go through to get here?"

Just that thought makes conversations much deeper and relationships much warmer.