Sometimes I have these thoughts.

Why is it so tough to make a living in America, a country that is considered one of the best places to live in the world?

While living in Palisades Park, New Jersey, I thought that if I worked hard and saved money, I could buy a house and live comfortably in retirement.

Of course, I've gained a lot from living in America. But now that I'm middle-aged, I realize that this country is not as easy as I once thought.

The term 'reality check' I use is a new word that shortens 'reality awareness time.'

It usually refers to the moment when you suddenly realize the reality after being filled with expectations, feeling emptiness or bitterness.

The first moment of reality check comes when I receive my paycheck.

With a salary of $80,000 in an office job, it might sound like a decent income in Korea.

However, after federal income tax, state income tax, social security, Medicare, health insurance premiums, and 401(k) contributions, the actual amount I take home is less than expected.

After paying rent or mortgage, car insurance, and food expenses, there isn't much left over.

It's not easy to support a family and live comfortably on an $80,000 salary in New Jersey.

The second moment is when I go to the hospital.

Even though I pay several hundred dollars a month in insurance premiums, I still have to pay more when I go to the hospital due to deductibles and copays.

After getting one test done, I receive a bill weeks later, and I have to scrutinize the amount covered by the insurance company and what I have to pay.

It's no joke when people say they feel sick again after seeing the bill from an emergency room visit.

The third moment is the tipping culture.

In the past, it was natural to give a tip of about 15-20% when eating at a restaurant and receiving service. But nowadays, even when buying a cup of coffee, a tip is expected.

When I order directly at the counter and pick up my coffee, the payment screen shows options for 18%, 20%, and 25% tips. If I don't tip, I feel like I'm being stingy, but if I do, I wonder what service I actually received.

The fourth moment is when it comes to college tuition for children.

Parents who have raised kids in America will understand. From elementary to high school, we somehow manage, but once they enter college, the financial burden changes significantly.

When you combine tuition, dorm fees, and food expenses, attending a decent private university can cost tens of thousands of dollars a year.

If you don't receive scholarships, you may have to consider student loans. Many parents find themselves worrying about their children's college tuition just when they should be saving for retirement.

The fifth moment is when you own a home.

New Jersey is known for having high property taxes in the U.S.

If you own a house near Palisades Park or Fort Lee, the property tax is often over $10,000 a year.

I thought that once I paid off the mortgage, my worries about the house would be over, but property taxes, insurance, and repair costs follow you for life. It feels like I'm still paying rent every month for my own home.

The sixth moment is car repair costs.

When I take my car to the shop and receive the estimate, there are times when I'm momentarily speechless.

Replacing a few parts related to brakes, tires, and the engine can easily exceed $1,500 to $2,000.

But I can't just stop driving. In New Jersey, unless you're commuting to Manhattan, living without a car is inconvenient.

Finally, the biggest reality check comes when I think about retirement.

When I was younger, I thought that by the time I turned 60, I would be able to retire and travel. But as that age approaches, I worry about whether I can live on just social security, how much Medicare will cover for medical expenses, and whether my retirement savings will be enough.

One thing I've realized after living in America for a long time is that while there are many opportunities to make money, there are also many ways for money to slip away.

But if you ask me if I dislike America, I wouldn't say that.

It's a place I've lived for a long time, and there are definitely many good aspects.

The gap between the American dream I envisioned when I was young and the reality of living in America as a middle-aged person is significant.

The reality check of a middle-aged man who has lived in America for a long time continues today.