When I worked at a divorce law office in LA, I encountered many situations that were hard to understand at first.

It seemed especially true for professional couples.

People like doctors, lawyers, accountants, and business owners usually appear very rational and composed. However, when it comes to child custody issues during a divorce, they can completely change.

Disputes over houses or money are often more straightforward.

They can calculate how to split the sale of a house, what to do with retirement accounts, and who gets which assets, ultimately resolving it with numbers.

But with children, it's not that simple.

In the U.S., custody isn't just about "the child lives with the mother and the father sees them on weekends."

It starts with who the child stays with on which days of the week, and extends to who makes important decisions about school, medical care, therapy, and after-school activities.

Holidays can be divided very specifically.

For example, Christmas Eve at the mother's house, Christmas Day at the father's house, and if the child spent Thanksgiving with the father this year, they'll spend it with the mother next year.

I was surprised when I first saw this.

"We agreed to pick up the child at 5 PM on Friday, but they arrived at 5:35 PM."

"They changed the child's soccer practice time without telling me."

"They met with the school teacher alone for a consultation."

These kinds of issues led to lawyers being contacted and emails flying back and forth.

From the outside, it seems excessive to involve lawyers for such matters.

But for people whose emotions have become severely strained during the divorce process, those 30 minutes feel significant.

"This person is an unreliable parent."

That's how they perceive it.

I was also surprised to find that people who earn a lot of money don't necessarily settle easily because of the high attorney fees.

In fact, there were cases where it was the opposite.

Professionals earning hundreds of dollars an hour would spend tens of thousands on legal fees just to fight for one extra day a week with their child.

At first, I thought to myself, wouldn't it be better to save that money for the child's college tuition?

But as I continued to observe, I realized it wasn't about the money.

Whether a parent spends three days or four days a week with their child is a significant difference.

Especially when one parent plans to move to another city or state, the atmosphere changes dramatically.

If they live just 30 minutes away in LA, they can still see the child often.

But if the mother says she's taking the child to Texas, or the father has to move to New York for work, then meeting the child requires a plane ticket.

From that point on, it becomes much harder to compromise.

As children grow older, they develop their own opinions.

"I don't want to leave my school right now."

"I want to live at my dad's house."

These statements can weigh heavily on parents.

So during a divorce, I felt the need to be cautious even with text messages.

Angry texts filled with insults can leave a lasting record, and speaking ill of the other parent in front of the child can also become an issue, as can consistently being late for scheduled times.

Watching American divorce cases unfold is quite fascinating.

People who once married out of love now can't stand to see each other.

They divide their homes, bank accounts, and furniture.

But children cannot be divided in that way.

Ultimately, the last battles are over who will share Monday mornings with the child, who will drop them off at school, and who will wake up with them on Christmas morning.

In the past, I wondered why people would spend tens of thousands on attorney fees.

But now, after seeing this process, I think I understand a bit better.

Money can be lost and earned again.

Houses can be bought again later.

But a ten-year-old's Christmas only happens once in a lifetime.

That Monday morning when the child is twelve and you drop them off at school will never come again.

So I think what parents in America are really fighting to protect during a divorce isn't the house, stocks, or retirement accounts.

It's ultimately the time they can spend with their child.

They don't want to lose that.