It has already been 15 years living in the U.S. I graduated from a Korean university and have been working at an American company for 12 years now.

I currently work as a middle manager at a clothing company in Atlanta.

Everyday English is now very familiar. Writing emails, attending meetings, giving work instructions to my staff, all of it is fine.

Yet, I still often have this thought.

"Why is it so hard to have open conversations with Americans?"

In fact, explaining work-related matters or having technical discussions is not difficult at all. Sometimes, I even get praised for explaining things logically.

However, when jokes come up during company gatherings, when a colleague brings up family stories, or when someone subtly expresses dissatisfaction...

there are many moments when I can't read the nuances.

I laugh along, but it has become a routine to laugh without really understanding what is being said.

As this continues to build up, I naturally start to avoid conversations, creating a sense of 'closeness but distance'.

English is a skill.

Once you become proficient, you can use it skillfully.

But communication is a culture.

The meaning of eye contact, the significance of silence, the codes of jokes, the ways of expressing apologies and gratitude...

These cannot be solved by memorizing words or practicing conversation.

For example, in America, "That's interesting" does not always mean something good. "I've never seen like that" is often an exaggerated expression.

And phrases like "Let's catch up sometime" that Korean people use to mean actually meeting up may not carry the same meaning here.

So even though I speak, it feels like I'm talking to a wall.

In Korea, if I just sigh and say, "Today is really tough," everyone understands and empathizes.

But in America, the atmosphere is such that "How are you?" is automatically responded to with "I'm fine, thanks."

Of course, there are conversations where people open up, but that is a level that is only possible after becoming close.

Until then, conversations feel very superficial and socially refined.

So immigrants like me often find themselves in situations where they communicate only on the surface while hiding their true feelings.

And as this repeats, the emotional distance with people grows without me even realizing it.

These days, I sometimes talk with colleagues from Spain who work at the same company.

Everyone says, "I can speak English, but I can't connect emotionally with people."

Hearing that was a bit comforting.

This is not a problem of English proficiency, but rather a matter of gaining the time and experience to understand the cultural 'context'.

So these days, I do this

I don't force myself into conversations. I only ask questions when I'm genuinely curious. Instead of awkwardly laughing and moving on, I've practiced honestly asking, "What does that mean?"

I try to connect through common interests. Discussing customer complaints, field issues, or even small specific conversations about coffee preferences creates more natural interactions.

I remember that 'sincerity' comes before language. I realized after several mistakes that sincerity can be understood even if I say something wrong.

I have become accustomed to English. However, communication between people is still something I am learning.

Not because I am a foreigner, but because all human relationships are inherently not easy.

Still, today I go to work and say, "Hey Michael, how was your weekend?"

That small greeting continues to be my own American way of communicating.