Living in Irvine and commuting to downtown LA every day feels like spending half of my life on the road.

Every morning, I leave at 6:30 AM with the hope that "maybe today won't be so congested," but the moment I see the traffic on Google Maps, that hope is always shattered.

After spending at least three hours in the car each day, I often find myself questioning, "Am I really living my life properly?"

And amidst all this, I inevitably make a big mistake at least once in a while that makes my head go 'bang'.

It happened with a company email. The day I accidentally sent something meant for internal staff to all our clients.

It even included some off-the-record comments. The cold feeling that hit me just 10 seconds after hitting send.

I immediately recalled the email, called the account manager of our major client, and I don't even know how many times I repeated, "It was a mistake."

I spent the entire day sweating nervously. Since that incident, I now double or triple-check emails before sending them.

There was also the car key incident. I went down to the parking lot after work, and my keys were missing. I turned my bag inside out, went back to the office, and even checked the restroom.

My mind raced with thoughts of theft, loss, and insurance. Eventually, I found them in a corner of the company stairs an hour later.

The meeting day was even funnier. I left early because it was an important client. I arrived with plenty of time, but no one was in the conference room.

When I heard from the receptionist, "There's no reservation for today," I felt another 'bang'.

I had mistakenly deleted the reminder from a colleague who had requested a date change. That day, the drive back on the 405 felt unusually long.

These mistakes strangely have a commonality. Once they happen, I immediately call, make excuses, and desperately try to fix things.

The process is chaotic and embarrassing, but over time, it just becomes a funny story.

But when a truly big mistake happens, and I instinctively feel that it's irreversible... at that moment, I can't do anything.

There's no fluster, no excuses. I just freeze. My mind goes blank, and time seems to flow strangely slowly.

This happens because the brain gives up on calculations.

For ordinary mistakes, there's a simulation running that says, "This can be fixed if I do this."

That's why the body gets busy.

But for a truly big mistake? Once it happens, it feels like there's simply no solution.

I can't even calculate what to do to recover. In that moment, a person chooses to stop rather than solve the problem.

Instinctively, they realize that moving around might just make things worse.

To put it bluntly, humans don't get smarter as problems get bigger; they get dumber.

What we often believe, "I handle crises well," is actually an illusion that only works within a controllable range.

So, in the face of a real crisis, everyone becomes similar. Even capable, wealthy, and experienced people freeze just the same.

The difference comes afterward. Do they start moving again, or do they just sit there?

On this road between LA and Irvine, I often think about this. Life is filled with unexpected mistakes and variables far more than it goes according to plan.

Yet, the next day, I get back in my car to go to work as if nothing happened. 

I have to get on the 405 freeway and start another day again.