I currently live in Palisades Park, New Jersey, USA.

I have been working as a pharmacist in the United States for over 15 years now, and I lead a precious but ordinary life raising two daughters after getting married.

I think I am fortunate to get along well with my colleagues at the chain pharmacy and to have relatively low work stress.

However, there is something I have been particularly envious of lately.

The energy, remarkable resilience, and youthful appearance of those in their twenties..

Especially when I see young female pharmacists, particularly those of Korean or Chinese descent, smiling brightly while working in front of me, I feel a pang of bitterness.

With their fair and firm faces, slender and elastic bodies, and lively strides... I definitely had such times too.

I remember that in my late twenties and early thirties, I looked quite good when I looked in the mirror.

My skin was smooth, my makeup looked good, and every time patients at the pharmacy would say, "Our pharmacist is so bright and pretty," it made me feel good.

But after turning 34 and having my first child, something changed drastically.

Not only did my body change, but my skin's elasticity noticeably decreased, dark circles became more pronounced, and I could feel my hair thinning gradually.

As a pharmacist, I am more sensitive about health than anyone else. So I have been consistently taking antioxidants like Omega-3, Vitamin C, Coenzyme Q10, and Glutathione, and I occasionally mixed collagen powder into my drinks.

Still, that didn't provide any fundamental solution.

The traces of age are not just the wrinkles around the eyes or laugh lines. After finishing my daily routine, coming home to prepare dinner for the kids, help with homework, and tidy up the house, when I finally enter my room, I see my reflection in the mirror and think... rather than saying "You worked hard," I first feel, "Ah, I really have aged."

Of course, my life is not unhappy now. In fact, there are many things to be grateful for. My two daughters are lovely, my husband is stoic but loyal, and my job is stable. Living in the Korean community of Palisades Park without major inconveniences is also a blessing.

Yet, every now and then, really rarely, I feel it strongly.

"I used to be young and pretty like that..."

Lately, I feel that sentiment more often. Perhaps it's because I frequently see young female pharmacists who have just joined the pharmacy, wearing uniforms and smiling brightly. Among them are Korean-American pharmacists who are not fluent in Korean, and Chinese girls who resemble our sentiments, and I just feel envious of them.

Humans are truly fickle. In my twenties, I wanted to grow up quickly, in my early thirties, I was somewhat confident, and now in my forties, I envy youth so much.

So these days, I comfort myself with this thought.

"Yes, these young girls will also reach their mid-forties like me someday. And when that time comes, they will understand me now."

I still try to take care of my body as much as possible. I consistently take health supplements, try to sleep early in the evening, and make sure to take a half-body bath at least twice a week. I also carefully choose cosmetics based on their ingredients and wear hats to block the sunlight.

But no matter what, the vitality of youth does not return.

So these days, I often tell my younger pharmacist juniors in their twenties, "You don't realize how beautiful you are now, but you will know later. Laugh a lot, take many photos, and love a lot while you are young."

Youth is a moment, but that moment creates memories for a lifetime. I have this feeling now because I had that time.

If there are any young women in their twenties or thirties reading this, I just want to say one thing.

"Being beautiful now is truly a miracle. Enjoy it. And cherish it dearly. You will really miss it later."