After ten years of immigration in the United States, to be honest, this is not an adjustment period but a survival period.

When I first came to LA, everyone must have felt the same way. "They say America is the land of opportunity~" and I was excited.

But when you actually come, surviving is all that matters, not opportunities. They say it's a land of freedom, but that's for those who have something.

For someone like me, who has nothing, it's a 'self-survival country' where you have to solve everything on your own.

No one helps, and no one cares that it's pitiful.

In the first year of immigration, reading facial expressions was more important than English. Even if I only understood half, I would smile and say, "Yes~ Yes~." But inside, I was wondering, 'Is this right?' and when I got home, I would review a day's worth of English using a translator. At first, it was frustrating because I couldn't communicate, and later, even when I could, it was tiring to argue, so I just smiled. This is the true reality of an immigrant.

Money was also tight. Taxes, insurance, rent, and medical expenses all went out as soon as I earned anything. In Korea, I could survive a month by saving on meals, but here, just having two cups of coffee a day exceeds my budget. Still, I thought, "Since I came to immigrate, let's work hard!" and even took on a second job helping a friend's father with his store. Here, if you don't work, you won't have next month's rent.

But the most severe thing is loneliness. If I had just one friend, I could vent over a drink, but here, there isn't even that person. When I try to complain to someone, they just say, "You'll be fine" and laugh. Hearing that makes me feel even more empty. Finding 'friends' in the Korean community is almost impossible, so in the end, I learn that being alone is more comfortable.

The weather in LA? That's the only consolation. Blue skies, palm trees... Honestly, if it weren't for this scenery, I wouldn't have been able to endure it. When I suddenly look at the sky while stuck in traffic on the 405 freeway, I momentarily think, "Yeah, I've come this far." But soon, reality hits. Insurance renewals, rent increases, tax documents. In America, these things constantly torment people.

Now that I've been here for ten years, I understand a bit more. America is not a 'land of freedom' but a 'land of responsibility.' You have to solve everything with your own hands, and if you make a mistake, you learn with money. If you get a little lazy, there are immediate penalties. So this is not a country to dream in, but a country where you have to stay awake to survive.

Now I can speak some English, my job is stable, and my credit score has gone up. But I can't say I've completely 'adapted.' Here, you are always in a state of adaptation. Laws can change at any time, rent can go up, and insurance can be renewed. You just live with constant anxiety.

What I've learned in ten years of immigrant life is just one thing. "Being nice is a disadvantage." You have to take care of your rights and push hard to become just ordinary. America is not a country that protects nice people but a country that opens paths for those who assert themselves and speak loudly.