Are People Living in Illinois Happy?

In the U.S., when you ask, "What's the happiness score here?" there are hardly any states that can give a clear answer, but Illinois feels like it's stuck somewhere in the middle. It's not overwhelmingly great, nor does it seem particularly unhappy; it's just that kind of ambiguous state. Especially for us 40-something moms, it's a place where living well, enduring, and mindset really matter.

To start with the positives, the foundation of life is decent. Basic services like healthcare, education, parks, libraries, and roads are not as expensive as in New York or California, and the benefits are surprisingly well-established. Schools are decent, hospitals are plentiful, and if you avoid the heart of Chicago, rent and home prices are manageable. In various ways, it provides a support system that helps raise kids without falling apart, I guess?

But the problem is that this sense of stability only goes so far. Emotional happiness? Warmth among people? 

The atmosphere among neighborhood moms isn't one of sticking together, and the culture of looking out for each other and chatting is weak. Everyone is just busy, taking care of their own families, handling their own affairs, and not paying attention to others as the default. So, the feeling of "loneliness" can sometimes poke at you like a wound. Even when everything is fine, there are days when a sudden sense of emptiness creeps in, right? That happens often.

Especially in winter. It's truly a season that drains happiness. Coming home from grocery shopping while battling the wind makes life feel lonely, and even though my husband and kids are the same as usual, I feel like I'm the one getting worn out first? It's not just the weather; people's personalities are a bit minimal too. They're helpful but not overly warm, kind but not passionate. It's like there's an unspoken understanding that keeping distance is polite. For a warm-hearted Korean mom, it can be frustrating at times.

Still, the funny thing is that this seemingly cold state has a strange charm. If I take the initiative, opportunities arise, and if I reach out, relationships form; if I just stay still, I'm left comfortably in my own space. No one pulls me along or interferes, and as long as I manage to survive, it's relatively comfortable. So, it's not a place where happiness just comes to you, but it feels like a place where, if I create it, it slowly takes root.

Illinois may not be overflowing with warmth, but it gives me the space to cultivate my happiness in my own way. So, it feels unfair to say it's unhappy, and a bit embarrassing to say it's happy; it's just a state that reflects our ambiguous lives as 40-something moms.

By the way, I found out that Hawaii is often cited as the "happiest state" in the U.S. According to one survey, Hawaii ranked first in overall happiness, with low rates of adult depression and high physical and emotional well-being, leading to life satisfaction.

So, would our family be happier if we moved to Hawaii? That seems to be another question altogether.

But in the movie Friends, when they say, "You go to Hawaii"... I realize that Jang Dong-gun really meant it for his true friend.