When we were dating, even the sight of my husband eating was adorable.

Even when he finished a bowl of rice, the way he enjoyed it made me think, 'If it's this person, we can build a life together.' But after getting married and as time passed, that sound gradually started to irritate me. The clinking of chopsticks, the slurping of soup, each chewing sound began to grate on my nerves. The person I once found easygoing now feels too careless and unhygienic at times.

Habits I initially found cute have now become annoying. The way he wiped his hands anywhere and tossed towels around changed from 'He must be tired' to 'I end up cleaning again.'

In the past, a simple "Thank you for your hard work" was enough when I did the dishes, but these days, it's hard to even hear that. He sprawls on the sofa, staring at his phone, while I organize the dishes next to him, often confused about whether we are living together or if I am just taking care of him.

During our dating phase, his decisiveness was impressive. The way he made decisions without hesitation was reassuring. But now, it feels like that decisiveness disregards my opinions. My words sound like 'nagging,' while his words have become 'final decisions,' and this dynamic has somehow become the norm. Even though we live together, I often feel like I am living alone.

His ambition and persistence were admirable at first. But when work takes precedence over family every weekend, and business trips are deemed more important than my mother-in-law's birthday dinner, it becomes frustrating.

There was a time when I found his snoring cute. I would cover him with a blanket, thinking, "He must be tired," but now I find myself nagging him to "Get a check-up at the hospital" every dawn.

In the past, if he was late to respond, I would think, "He must be busy," but now, even living in the same house, if communication is delayed, it feels frustrating. I miss the simple question at the end of the day, "How was your day?" Without it, it sometimes feels like I am living with a stranger in the same space. If love is built through conversation, silence seems to create a wall that breaks that love.

And then there's the topic of money. Now, I find myself calculating every little expense, obsessively looking for cheaper options, which feels petty. The repeated disappointments have made me dislike him too much.

Why have the reasons I decided to marry now become the reasons I contemplate divorce?

Has he changed, or am I finally seeing the real him? It's probably a bit of both. Love initially magnifies the other person's strengths, but over time, the filters come off, revealing their true self.

Things I used to overlook with an "It's okay" have now turned into "That's not acceptable." This means I have developed my own standards. The breakdown of a relationship is not solely one person's fault. It is merely the result of time spent ignoring each other's changes.

Still, to be honest, I recognize his good qualities. He is responsible, driven, and his efforts for the family have not completely disappeared. It's just sad that his strength is now used more to diminish my space rather than to embrace my heart.

Surprised by my recurring thoughts of divorce, I promised myself to live as 'the one who speaks up' when issues arise. To believe in love but maintain boundaries. To share laughter but not hide sadness.

Ultimately, I believe marriage is a relationship that must be maintained through the growth of both individuals. If only one person changes while the other endures, that love will inevitably lose its balance. I have learned that now. I will strive to ensure that the reasons for marriage do not become the reasons for divorce again, and I will first be sincere with myself next time.